(This post is the result of the comment thread of a post that Jer made on his blog.)
Right here I think that Paul is talking about issues that are not areas of sin. Paul never in Romans 14 says that this case of avoiding food is wrong, nor does he ever say that taking a single day every week and setting it apart to the Lord as a Sabbath is a sin. Furthermore, Paul gives permission in this chapter for it to be done. Before explaining what I think is really at the heart of Romans 14, let me give the illustration I typically use when trying to explain this passage.As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. (Romans 14:1-6)
Is kissing a sin? I believe that the Scriptures are authoritative and that they are sufficient to guide me into all godliness (2Ti. 3:16, 17), and they never say that kissing is wrong. That said, they say not to lust (Mt. 5:28) and I, as a single, am given the boundary not to have premarital sex (i.e., sexual immorality, e.g., in 1 Thessalonians 4:3). So, to protect myself from sinning, I have decided that I am not going to make out with my girlfriend (provided I someday have one) before we get married. However, for those Christian singles who are able to kiss without it leading to lust or sexual intercourse are not sinning and I don't think they are in the wrong. (This applies to BGR, so, given that I've never been in a relationship before, I am speaking without experience. Feel free to offer advice in the comments if you think that my conviction is wrong. But, while it is true at this moment, it is primarily used here as an illustration.)
Piper's illustration (at time 37:52, one of the few instances I'll refer you to an audio resource of Piper when a written counterpart is available) is that of elbows on the table at the dinner table. Clearly, the Bible doesn't speak on this, yet there can be disagreement.
I think that my illustration has done most of the work, so I'm going to finish off by looking at the text. There are two sides, each possibly saying the position they each hold to is of Gospel concern. For example, the strong side might say, "By saying you may not eat meat you're adding to 'faith alone'." Or the other side (the weak) might say, "By eating meat you're sinning intentionally without repentance. You might not be saved." They're each doing what they're doing within the bounds of "by grace alone, through grace alone", otherwise Paul would have rebuked them because all sin is serious. So they're each wrong. They're each simply trying to protect themselves from sinning.
This is called the believer's freedom. The Jews were heaping rules on top of what Moses had commanded to protect themselves from sinning and then they enforced these too. Christ decries this in Matthew 12 when the Pharisees accuse the disciples of breaking the Sabbath by picking grain to eat from a field on the Sabbath. Considering that Jesus kept the Sabbath perfectly and didn't accuse His disciples of having broken the Sabbath, they probably weren't in the wrong. Jesus decries them adding to the Law. So obey God when He says something's sin in the Word. If it's not there, it's not sin. Though, be warned, "not all things are helpful" (1Co. 6:12). For more on this, I found this article written by Mark Dever very helpful.
A word, now, on the application of this passage. I've given two already. Don't judge faithful, obedient Christian singles who kiss. And don't judge the person who eats with his elbows on the table at dinner because he doesn't know that's a custom. I don't think that this applies to doctrine. Doctrine matters. God didn't ordain, "Thou shalt not eat with thy elbows on the table." He did ordain that women not hold leadership in a local church. (Or He didn't, one may argue. I'm certainly in the position to believe that the Bible goes with the former on this.) This is something that the Bible speaks on. We still need to strive to honour God within the context of His revealed Word. Doctrine matters. Refine yourself, and renew your mind. Now, you shouldn't let doctrine divide (i.e., cause you to call those who disagree with you unbelievers), but don't let believer's freedom let you become apathetic to doctrinal Truth.
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